Love is never the result of a fall as the popular phrase, “Falling in love”, suggests however romantic it may sound to your ears or mine from decades of programming and social engineering via film, television, fairytales, and other influential images that leave long-lasting imprints that shape how we view and speak about love.
Yes, I realize how bold a statement that is.
Many in successful relationships would use this same language to describe their coming together that I now, seem to be questioning. Though I don’t question the results of any lasting union, I do question the language used to describe their coming together.
Language conjures images and ideologies that gives wings to the notion that love is accidental not intentional and behavorial. Any relationship that stands the tests and trials of time does not last unintentionally. The success or failure of love is not the result of happenstance. Any couple that stayed together over the long run, did so in the face of all manner of adversity.
In short, it’s not an easy feat for any couple to withstand the tests of time. Somehow, “Falling in love” does not adequately represent what happens between two people when you consider the ‘life’ that awaits them beyond ‘the fall’. We cannot so casually overlook the language used to describe love.
Words convey meaning through ideas and images that are presented in those words. Falling in love implies that love is not a choice. ‘It’ happens to two unsuspecting people without their consent and sometimes contrary to their own desire.
While this notion works well in films that appeal heavily to the emotions and require nothing of us but the indulgence of our imaginations as we are whisked off into a world of carefree romance where our relationship issues can be solved in less than an hour. The bedroom usually acts as the “great equalizer” to right all wrongs.
Whatever is wrong is made right between us between designer layers of high thread count Egyptian cotton sheets and soft music that sets the mood and the perfect ambiance for intense ‘problem-solving’. As stated earlier, this works great for breathtaking scenes on the small and big screen.
Love, beyond the screen, requires much more than ‘sexual healing’ and other trinkets to build and to maintain. Love is never the result of a fall. Love is a choice. Love is a behavior. There has never been so great or beautiful an accident. There never will be as great a fall.