Gender Speak

Gender Speak


Men and women speaking the same language, using the exact same words, in the exact same sequence can, and often, mean entirely different things. For example: A man says to a woman: “I just want to be friends”. Typically when a man says this, it’s a careful maneuver to get a woman comfortable enough to let down her guard. He can then pursue the relationship that he’s really after which, more than likely, is different than what he’s letting on.

On the other hand, when a woman says the exact same sentence, “I just want to be friends”, she means exactly what she’s saying. She has no immediate or future desire to be anything other than platonic in that relationship. The problem really arises when the man or woman takes for granted that the hearer understands this ‘gender speech’ when they don’t because each gender means something different though saying the same thing.

This is where it becomes important to establish clear communication with this other person considering the difference in how males and females communicate. It’s an arduous and daunting task at times but also a valuable learning process that helps to strengthen your relationship or maybe determine whether or not you are compatible with this person in terms of your ability (or lack thereof) to effectively communicate with them. In either case, there’s something to be gained from this exchange.

Take the time to understand not just the words of your partner but, the meaning that they are pouring into those words and not assume that they mean what you mean when saying those same words. It requires work but the effort will prove to be worthwhile and will establish a great foundation for you to build upon as you grow and develop your relationship with one another

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