There is a prevailing myth that a man’s hearts is built ford-tough. It’s thought by some that men are “a-motional” (the ‘a’ prefix means without) and not emotional. Men are largely thought to be able to, in a figurative sense, leap from one woman to the next in a single bound and move effortlessly, painlessly, and with wanton abandonment totally unscathed leaving a trail of wounded women in the wreckage of their path. Is this an accurate depiction of men in general or men period for that matter?
Is this a gender issue at all really? There are surely some men that are able to move from one relationship to the next without any care for the feelings of the women they use and abuse. As well, there are women that move with the same degree of stealth. Often there’s an explanation why certain women may act in this manner. It’s usually summed up in this wise. “She was probably hurt severely by men (or a man) in her past”. For a man, it’s usually just his nature to be so. Why is there a difference in how the actions of each are perceived?
Men do, in fact, experience real loss at the ending of a relationship. In an article entitled “The Pain of Lost Love- the Science of Heartbreak” in Men’s Health Magazine, the following is stated-“The end of a long-term relationship can be extraordinarily traumatic, especially for a man whose mate cheats on him, suddenly announces she wants a divorce, or dies. Researchers have discovered that the flood of stress hormones accompanying such events can weaken the heart, one reason laymen and clinicians alike have dubbed the phenomenon Broken Heart Syndrome.” -(http://www.menshealth.com/men/sex-relationships/couples/the-pain-of-lost-love/article/727114e08fe1f110VgnVCM10000013281eac)
Consider this, when a relationship is ended by a male or a female because there is no longer any interest in that relationship, the person that ends that relationship will probably not experience any sense of loss considering that they called it ‘quits’. What of that other person that wanted to remain in the relationship? That person undoubtedly experienced loss. It’s understandable that the one experiencing loss would consider the other to move on with no remorse or emotions. This is irrespective of gender. Men feel the same way when experiencing the same loss.
Ladies, think of the man that pursued you and you entertained his interest for a bit but, ultimately there was no spark or interest so you decided to end any interaction with him. From your standpoint, you probably didn’t experience any loss whatsoever because you had no interest. From his standpoint, he may have been heartbroken, felt the sting of rejection, insecurity, self-doubt, etc. You probably didn’t even consider anything beyond the ending of your dating. When the discussion of men and how they move from one relationship to the next comes up the next time, remember this man that you sent away as well as the one you actually lost both men are equally valid. Both of their experiences are also equally valid. One felt no loss but you did. The other felt loss but you didn’t. Again, the person that ends the relationship may hold the key to determining loss in most of these instances.
The road to and from love is a two way street offering both great joy and unfortunately, great pain to both men and women alike. Neither man nor woman holds a monopoly on either.
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